Two parents

anticipate leaving an estate worth around $7 million to their children. This includes the family home, superannuation balances, and a modest portfolio of listed shares. Like many parents, they want to support their children—particularly with property purchases—but they are concerned that disclosing the extent of their wealth now could lead to complacency or a reduced drive to be financially self-sufficient.

This dilemma is increasingly common among affluent Australian families. Parents are trying to strike a balance between offering support and encouraging resilience. While it may seem easier to withhold financial details entirely, doing so can create significant issues later—particularly when expectations don’t align with reality after death.

There is no legal obligation to disclose what is in your will, but thoughtful communication can reduce the risk of family disputes, confusion, or legal challenges. Estate planning should be seen not only as a tool for wealth distribution but also as a mechanism to support a smooth and harmonious transition for family members during what is usually an emotionally charged time.

One of the key drivers of conflict in inheritance situations is uncertainty. When children are unaware of their parents’ intentions, it can lead to suspicion, mistrust, or even resentment. This is particularly true where estates are divided unequally, involve blended families, or include assets held across multiple jurisdictions (such as an overseas property or a Thai or European will alongside an Australian one).

However, concerns about “spoiling” children by revealing future inheritances are not always supported by evidence. Unless the amount of wealth is large enough to allow financial independence without work, most adult children still face significant financial obligations—mortgages, education expenses for their own children, and everyday living costs. In fact, being made aware of future wealth may allow them to plan better, reduce unnecessary financial risk, and make more thoughtful long-term decisions.

There are, however, risks associated with disclosing large, highly liquid estates. If adult children believe substantial cash or shares are “available,” they may be more inclined to request financial help while parents are still alive—especially if they are under financial pressure or perceive the inheritance as guaranteed. This dynamic is often less present where family wealth is tied up in real estate, particularly if the property will need to be sold or retained to support aged care needs.

It is also essential to be realistic about the future value of the estate. While $7 million may seem substantial today, that figure could diminish significantly due to aged care and health costs—particularly if one partner requires residential care while the other remains at home. The cost of a refundable accommodation deposit (RAD) for aged care can exceed $1 million, and additional expenses may be required to maintain a second home for the spouse remaining in the community. It is not uncommon for children to inherit in their 60s or even 70s, well after their peak financial need.

Key considerations for parents navigating this situation include:

• Updating and reviewing your will regularly. Even if you choose not to disclose specific numbers, ensuring your intentions are clearly documented and understood is critical. This is particularly important if your wishes involve unequal distributions, blended family arrangements, or trusts.

• Having early and honest conversations. Around 65% of contested wills are challenged by the deceased’s children. Many of these disputes stem from a lack of understanding, not greed. Being proactive can reduce the risk of litigation, delays, and permanent damage to family relationships.

• Planning for emotionally significant items. It is often personal heirlooms—grandfather’s watches, jewellery, family albums—that trigger conflict rather than large dollar amounts. Understanding who values what can help avoid emotional misunderstandings and future disputes.

• Accounting for lifetime support. If one child received help buying a property, or another had education fees covered, this may need to be equalised either during life or in the will. Failing to consider this can create perceptions of favouritism and lead to challenges under family provision laws.

• Documenting your intentions clearly. For complex estates or those with high emotional stakes, consider writing a non-binding letter of wishes to accompany the will. This can provide context to your decisions, particularly if you’re treating children differently or allocating assets in ways that may not seem intuitive to the beneficiaries.

Ultimately, estate planning is not just a legal or financial exercise—it is a family management strategy. Transparency, when paired with thoughtful timing and good communication, can preserve both family wealth and relationships. By treating inheritance as part of an ongoing conversation rather than a future surprise, families can avoid conflict and ensure that the transition of wealth achieves its intended purpose.